Sunday 17 April 2011

Gentleness

Bismillah.

Something that has been bothering me for atleast a year is my absolute and complete lack of gentleness. Seriously, if you paid me to define the word I probably couldn’t. If it slapped me in the face (very ironically) I wouldn’t recognise it. I am the least gentle person I know. There are very many instances where my lack of gentleness creates issues to say the least, but I won’t mention them because Shaykh H said I have to keep my sins to myself.

“Allah is gentle and loves gentleness in all things.” [hadith]

That kind of puts a damper on things, and definitely should be a kick up the bum for myself.

I picked up a book on my sister’s shelf today: al-Fusul al-Ilmiyya wa’l-Usul al-Hikmiyya [Knowledge and Wisdom] written by the great Imam al-Haddad, may Allah have mercy on his soul. In it is a chapter on gentleness! – this surely I took as a reminder from my Lord (to persevere in this), because it has really been bugging me, particularly these past few days.

The Imam says: “Know that gentleness is required in all things. It is encouraged and approved by both Shari’a and reason. Things can be achieved through gentleness that cannot even remotely be done through severity and force. Gentleness is the attribute of the wise and the compassionate amongst those servants of Allah whom He has selected.”

I guess ultimately it comes down to adab. And I have none of that either.
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2 comments:

  1. AdeebJune 06, 2014 11:31 pm

    Salaam,
    Very nice article. I wonder how, 3 years on, you have progressed in your quest to be more gentle.I cam across this piece whilst searching for articles on gentleness.
    Wasalaam
    Adeeb
    adeeb2211@hotmail.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. musafiraJune 07, 2014 2:39 am

      wa alaykum salam,

      thank you for your comment, it has caused me to reflect quite a bit! alhamdulila, i think in three years i have grown old and soft! it is hard work, and requires a lot of attention, but i feel i have changed from primarily being a 'thinking person' to a 'feeling person'. i am very privileged in that every day i experience situations (in hospital etc) that invite my emotions, sympathy and gentleness - and over the years i have learnt to embrace these with an open heart. i still sometimes catch myself out over-thinking rather than tempering my thoughts with empathy, but progress has been made!

      reflecting now, i realise there is nothing quite like the tenacity of youth to correct flaws in one's character. as a teenager, one is one's own greatest critic, and reformation is so much easier. i wish i had paid more attention to other character flaws also whilst i was younger, because the older i get, my personality becomes more solid, and less open to change. which is worrying.

      Allah rectify our hearts and states! so yep, some progress made, rest of progress in motion :-)

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